The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
