porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
