i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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