college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
