it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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