Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
