Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
