Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
A bitchslap is in order.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
