My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
