I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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