He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
