you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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