I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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