CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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