She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
