Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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