how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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