umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
