I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
