New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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