the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
