OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
