this beer tastes like vomit already
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
