Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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