Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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