During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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