Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
