you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
