Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
