I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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