This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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