What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
