i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
