I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
