I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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