I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
