HIV tests are more positive than that guy
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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