fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
