I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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