He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
