First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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