somebody snuck up and got me drunk
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize