Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
