Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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