I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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