i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
