he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
