Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish you could order shots online.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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