Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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