i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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