I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
