like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
