i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
