my mouth tastes like poor choices
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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